I was completely stoec at the funeral. I've seen everyone have their emotional moments but I've yet to have mine. I know what this means and it scares me. It means the festering hurt and anger i have within will eat a gaping hole at the center of my rotten core. I've got to release it all... but i can't do it on my own. Someone take me away... Take pictures with me, take me dancing, smile at me, and tell me i'm not poisoned. Tell me I'm wonderful and mean it. Tell me anything at all.
I need someone that knows more dick and fart jokes than I do.
Someone that I can call "poetry."
Someone who has faith and can lend me some.
Someone that couldn't fathom being verbally or physically abusive towards me.
Someone who embraces and appreciates my idiosyncracies. Someone who can empathize or at least attempt to rather than berate me for them.
Someone to snuggle with me at all times.
I am such a hopeless case.